class

Malaysia Airlines has just banned babies from flying first class and, apparently, they plan to stretch that rule to an “entire floor of its double decker A380 aircraft”, economy class that is.

What fun!
We have hotels that don’t allow kids.
We certainly don’t allow whiny babies in strip clubs.
There are upscale restaurants where you won’t be disturbed by a crazy kid throwing a tantrum next to the chef throwing flambé of baby deer hearts.
Finally, they managed to ban the evil little creatures from airplanes.
Those guys who also enjoy the strip clubs and the baby deer hearts will finally manage to nap well during their flight to their super business, super important meetings somewhere in Malaysia.

Nevertheless, I would also like to propose a few more things to be banned from business and, why not, economy class.

Three propositions to all airlines that are thinking of banning babies from business, first, club, and other fancy classes:

Proposition 1: ban the snoring people.

They’re awfully annoying.
This is actually fun:
Would you prefer a snoring dude or a crying baby in your business class flight?
The baby is likely to stop at some point.
The snoring dude – only when it’s time to leave the aircraft.
Or, if there’s a baby to wake him with its crying.

Proposition 2: ban the fat dudes.

They are allowed equal amount of suitcases as that of slim passengers (and babies), but an overweight person weighs more like a baby whale than an average passenger.
Isn’t this annoying?
Fat people also tend to snore more.
I don’t mean to offend overweight people.
And if a fat person is offended, he’ll be able to say a few words in self-defence.
But what about a colicky baby?
She can’t even walk yet, let alone protest against the new restriction.
She has to fly coach from now on – in the crowded, garlicky, curry smelling economy class.
What if economy people protest as well?
Dish kids at the animals and luggage area?
Pick up babies at the baggage carousel?

Proposition 3: ban the people with colds.

How annoying is it to have someone sneeze and sniff and pant and hiss and fight a pulpy cough throughout the flight.
And just when you’re about to start your lovely business class dinner the guy next to you starts blowing his nose or chokes on his phlegm. Bon appetit.

There’s something derogatory about the word ‘class’.
Mainly because it’s been heavily cross-pollinated with the word ‘image’.
Socio-economic class is a level of education, a type of profession and a bracket of earning.
But ‘image’ latched on to ‘class’ and many people parade with this car or those pants to imply that they are from the class that this car and those pants signify.
But they don’t necessarily belong there.
I wonder if those guys who complained, proposed, and now support airlines thinking of or banning kids from business and other upper, snazzy classes belong to a class, or parade about being from one.

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2 thoughts on “class

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