dummies

I recently heard an incredible revelation.
One that deserves publication.
Publication in the most trustworthy business magazines, in history books, and in crossword puzzles, if possible.
I’ve been a little demanding lately, haven’t I?
Requesting positions in the UN, conducting tests in the Holy See.
What’s next?
Demand to have tea with the Queen of England and ask her when she last cried and for what?

But the revelation:
People never get off their pacifiers.
Their dummies.
Since babies, we tend to get hooked on something that gives us comfort, security, strength.
From the mother’s bosom, we move to a dummy, then to a plastic bottle (eco-plastic these days!); to a blanket; to a toy of sorts.
And when you’d think that we’ve finally gotten rid of those attachments at around the time we can properly swear, the revelation comes to flip you in the nose that we actually haven’t.
We don’t.
Ever.
People just never remain dummyless.
The dummy and our attachment to it is always there.
It only changes its form.
And we don’t necessarily suck on it.

The trick, however, is in knowing what others’ dummies are exactly.
That’s where the power lies.
It’s good to know about the dummies of your co-workers, of your business partners, of your parents, even.
It’s an open door to everything – to better business, to more positive environment at work, to better relationships.
If you know what your boss’s, your partner’s, or your business prospect’s dummy is, you know everything that needs to be known in order to benefit, succeed, and prosper.
(Or use it for evil, of course.)

Some have hobbies.
Others like their liquor.
Yet others have weaknesses for certain places, food, books, music, or people, even.
All that is examples of people’s dummies.

Rather than fight the way we’d want to fight always, an alternative is to learn what the dummy of the person we’d want to ‘partner with’ is.
That doesn’t mean we have to slave or go against ourselves.
On the contrary.
It requires our genuine interest in the person’s soothing agent.
His dummy.

If I could wonder further – what would be the Queen’s dummy?
Crochet knitting?
Hunting?
Or, Hitler’s.
If they figured out on time, maybe a few lives would have been spared.
Wondering through personalities and what their dummies were actually brings me to an even bigger revelation.
Big personalities, successful any way one looks at it – whether business wise or dictatorially – may have been quite the aces in knowing what other people’s dummies were, to begin with.
Otherwise, how would an Austrian art-student turn out to rule Germany back in the 30s?
How did that happen?
He knew well the people on whom his rise depended what dummy soothed them.

Isn’t that funny?
They should add this viewpoint in history books.
And plonk a picture of a big rubbery pacifier along with the text.
Kids will laugh at it and that may actually make them read the rest of the contents.
Imagine, as part of the lesson on the Second World War, there’s that “did you know” fact box:
“Hitler was an expert in learning who preferred what type of dummy and he’d deliberately deliver it to them, so everyone around him kept complying with his ruthless ideas and craziness”.
In business magazines, it should go something like this:
“ROI – once you know your opponent’s soothing agent!”
And in crossword puzzles:
“soothing device – power to control”

Dummies – that’s just one way of looking at the point that it’s good to know people.
Again, genuinely.
This could apply to different nations, religions, societies.
Knowing what makes people tick, happy, moving, helps to make situations more tolerable and us – more tolerant.
Unfortunately, some may use such knowledge for ill, too.
While others don’t even care – they just go ahead with the tanks and the heavy artillery.
Literally.
Metaphorically.

I still grin at the thought though.
I imagine Donald Trump at a major board meeting somewhere on the 100th floor, in a sparkly luxurious air-conditioned office, fool of mahogany furniture, or whatever sounds expensive – and all grey and black suits sitting at a long oval heavy mahogany table, sucking on pacifiers, looking sternly into pie charts and graphs.
The women’s pacifiers, of course, are pink.

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