You know how friends, or relatives, sometimes come to you and announce something really unexpectedly?
Just like that.
Out of the blue.
Like, “ma, I joined the worshipers of Satan community”, or “honey, I’m … gay but never mind, I’ll still take care of the kids”.
The same way a friend of mine I met the other day, blurted out of the blue that she’s a “whore”.
End of quotation.
I tried to keep cool and asked what she meant by that.
“Oh, it’s not just me. All my girlfriends, too. They’re complete whores.”
I couldn’t detect whether she bragged about it or lamented.
So, I didn’t know whether to congratulate her or console her.
Why whores? I asked.
“Because no one wants to date anymore. Dating is over. Guys just want to f*%^ around and have fun”, my friend went. “So, we don’t have much choice.” Women follow suit.
And that’s bad because?
“Women just can’t get married anymore. Guys don’t want any commitment.”
Welcome to the “hook-up culture”, as the Atlantic put it in an article several issues ago and touched upon in an article on online dating and how it endangers relationships in their most recent issue.
I thought so much about my friend’s words: whore, no commitment, just for f*&^ing around.
She felt lost in this rampant polygamy going on in her life.
She wanted to settle as soon as she hits 30 in a year’s time.
I’m sure many of us can sympathise with her.
Men seem to have no problem with their biological clocks (we’ll see about that), and women, racing with time, end up acting like victims: with an attack.
You f&^% around, I’ll f&^% around back.
I pondered over what could possibly be the reason for this behaviour, besides the initial thought of media’s role in all this.
‘Relationships’ today are like an average Western salary.
You can’t buy anything solid with it, unless you save desperately and live miserably.
So, we say, what the heck, I may as well live a little, spend it all, every month.
Change “spend” with “get laid” and there you have it.
Whatever the reasons, what options can a person like my friend have if they want commitment?
Go back to peasantville?
I’ve had the presentiment for a while now.
The truth is in the dirt.
The dirt is in the villages.
In a small place of a couple of thousand people, you’re less likely to galavant. You’ll mess around with a couple of girls and you’re bound to meet their brothers (‘ fists) sooner or later.
A single gal can find a nice sinewy gentle gentleman who lives peacefully on a nice ranch with half a dozen sheep.
The package will include healthy eating and fresh air in exuberance.
Where do you think organic produce comes from? The factories?
If the industrial period brought about an influx of villagers to the big city, the technological revolution will reverse the phenomenon.
I have an inkling.
Exactly because thanks to internet you can work from anywhere.
Village life will be absolutely fantastic.
Macho man – your gentle gentleman.
Plenty of space between you and your neighbours – something a block of flats doesn’t provide.
Generous views from every corner of your property.
And your husband won’t go astray because there are only two other women in the village of whom one is his sister (who keeps an eye on him) and the second one is the butcher’s wife (who is very butch).
Introduce Lathmar Holi?
Indian women suffer a lot.
One day a year, however, they are allowed to grab sticks and beat the hell out of their men. It is supposed to be a celebration to something and the beating is supposed to be symbolic only.
But you know how one gets intoxicated from too much celebrating…and then you remember how many times he cheated on you.
Silliness aside, we women have many a secret weapon, if that’s a war men have declared, to begin with.
If they want to have fun, fine.
If women want to have fun, fine too, even if ours is timed.
But I don’t believe that all men galavant aimlessly and never want to commit.
There will always be those with good education, family values, and self-discipline to stop where their limits are.
I asked my husband about whether this is nothing new but just the same thing from the time of Marie Antoinette – minus the plague and the wigs.
Not really, he said.
The world hasn’t gone 360 degrees. Not just yet. It’s gone 180 degrees.
Meaning – yes, the majority falls into the category that my friend seems to come across every weekend, but those who have the excellent education and the power (career positions, money) are becoming more and more those who go for a run at 5am everyday and, at most, would spice up with good old pay-per-view when they’re abroad away from their partners.
These are the well-off men who have come to see life in a different way where family and heritage, health and fun shared with one intimate partner (and children, why not) are the long-term winner. For more clarification, refer to the Beckams’.
Today’s Berlusconis are a dying breed.
First, because those who aspire to that sort of lifestyle can’t afford it on the long run.
And second, because, those who can afford it, see that it’s not worth the investment. And I mean investment.
At the end of the day, women have all the power in this game.
Men don’t want to commit?
There must be another prescription than the “become a whore” one.
Why don’t all women launch a campaign of promoting that which we find most attractive in men? Promote it any possible way – sexy mainly!
Like, make commitment look sexy.
There’s nothing sexier than a one-woman man.
Why don’t we create awareness about what we like in a man (staying away from what we don’t)?
And, reasoning from the fact that men will readily please just to get what they want, they may end up doing exactly what we dictate with our campaign!